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I'm sure that someone will miss you...
Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time, but I have created no Vent Your Spleen Wednesday (VYSW) postings in quite a while and it doesn't seem like the internet is exactly overflowing with people who want to join. Despite being #2 on Google for a search for vysw, I think it's time to like the mangey dog rest in peace.
The good thing about doing this that I can always have a "Back from the Grave!" style posting or a Halloween special :-)
Vent Your Spleen Wednesday
It's not always easy to explain my job to people.
As a person who has worked in the field of all things computer, people sometimes ask me "how do the damn things work?" My answer is that they don't.
I spend a huge amount of time working on some ridiculously simple aspect of a program, only to be told that what I have done is broken. You see if you hop on one foot, rub your tummy, whistle and operate the mouse with your foot it turns out that what you have done does not actually work. Such arguments are constructed by strange and evil people called testers, who will go on to explain that this odd group of one-foot-hopping people are the majority of our customers.
Now mind you, this is on a good day.
Most of the time, all someone has to do is just glare at something I'm working on and it will break.
Other times the entire goal will be insane, like creating what amounts to an underwater barbeque grill. At the end of the process, the same group of fools who insisted on this in the first place will look at you like you are crazy and ask "whose idea was this?"
I've tried to come up with a short description of my job for non-computer people after one friend asked me "what is it that you do?" I usually find myself blathering on about .NET or Java only to discover that whoever asked me is now asleep. After much time and effort, I've come up with a short explanation that still manages to capture the essence of what is going on:
Vent Your Spleen Wednesday
The thing that really ticks me off is traffic and those damn drivers who...oh...I already blogged about that.
Alrighty, what drives me nuts are those stupid stat-counters that inevitably fail when you...fooie, did that one too.
Nothing can match the feeling when I turn on the radio only to find...sigh.
Nukewrap! I haven't blogged about that yet!
OK, you know that hard, plastic wrapping around some computer stuff like headphones that you have to practically take a hack-saw to in order to open? I hate that stuff. Not only is it ridiculously hard to remove, not only do I often times cut myself on an edge, but when I finally do get the thing open, it always renders the item in "non-salable condition" so that I can't return it.
I'm sure there's some smug SOB, sitting in a lab somewhere, being very pleased with himself over having had invented the stuff. I just want this guy to be put in a box made of the stuff. I'd want the cell to have some air holes of course. Wouldn't want him to suffocate, oh no! I'd want him to be in there a long, long time...
Vent Your Spleen Wednesday
Like everyone this time of year, I look forwards the Fall and the change of colors in the trees...who am I fooling? I look forward to getting an hour back with Daylight Savings time.
OK, best to start again.
One of the things that really ticks me off is turning on the damn radio and getting an NPR fundraiser. I realize this is public radio and needs the dough after a rather long period of (ahem) leadership in various funding areas, but the sheer tenacity of these people is just...annoying.
To add insult to injury a while back I donated a vast (OK, rather large) sum of money to my local public radio and my reward? I still get to listen to them. Sometimes I wish I were extremely wealthy just so that I could pay for a day of programming where the local announcers have to wear gags.
Ah well...there's always next year.
Vent Your Spleen Wednesday
Many companies think that they can improve matters by making their employees afraid; specifically by firing people and then pointing out that there are still more people left that they can remove.
This does not make a whole lot of sense to me because I cannot stay scared indefinitely. When I'm scared, my heart beats, I sweat, etc. but only for a little bit. The more I'm exposed to the cause of the fear, the less scary it gets. When it comes in the form of a company's constant attempts at intimidation, it ends up fading into the background for me. In my experience, the people around me rarely stay scared either.
I've also seen fear sabotage productivity. When I personally feel threatened, I am less inclined to help people around me. At one place I saw a group that was relatively productive systematically destroyed by its less productive brethren. I've heard coworkers remark that you always want a bit of "deadwood" in your group so that, when the yearly "Christmas Bonus" comes around, you have someone that is more likely to get the axe then you are.
Trying to scare people into working harder doesn't strike me as a very good idea. But as the creator of the Dilbert comic strip remarked, if nature ran on the same principals as business, you'd see a bunch of mountain gorillas being led by an "alpha" squirrel. And mind you, it wouldn't be the most skilled squirrel…it would be the one that nobody else wanted to hang with.
Vent Your Spleen Wednesday
A major factor in the stress of driving for me are those drivers who seem to pounce on any opportunity to get cut in front of me. And what does this idiot get? 1 car length. Often times even that gain is erased since the other guy ends up at the next stop light or slow-down anyways.
The worst of the worst are the ones who seem to be racing someone else. It always seems like there are at least two of these clowns, dodging in and out of traffic.
If these fools were only risking their own lives it would be bad enough, but they're risking my life too.
Vent Your Spleen Wednesday
And my very first VYSW post is about, of course, blogrolling.com --- the annoying twerp of a place that I first turned to in order to manage my blogroll!
In the midst of trying to launch a meme, the damn blogrolling site decides to be difficult. It times out, it decides to ignore commands...I'd say a bit about blogspot and how their editor works but I'm saving that for another post.
Well, I can't say that I'm surprised but I am annoyed. And in only the way that someone who is getting free code and whatnot can be!
There, now I feel better. At least a little.
Vent Your Spleen Wednesday
What is VYSW?
VYSW is shorthand for "Vent Your Spleen Wednesday." The phrase "Vent Your Spleen" means to bitch, moan, rant, complain or otherwise commiserate about something that just really upsets you, whatever that may be. The purpose for the author of this particular meme is twofold:JOIN ZE REVOLUTION!
Be on the avant-garde of the blogosphere by joining us grumpy, whining never-do-wells:
Join the Blogroll!
Send me an email if you want to join up and soon your blog will be renowned and marked with great black splotches on all internet registries. The first hundred people will get...um...well, nothing much, but sign up anyway.
Display the Logo!
For those who want a prepackaged blob-o-code...I'm working on it. Come back shortly >.<
Post Loud and Annoying Rants!
All that's left for you to do is to babble on about any topic that the voices tell you about. What do you mean you don't hear them?
Alright, for those of you who lack...inspiration just turn on the TV and watch the news for 5min. You could just spout off about how you hate commercials, the sky's the limit!
Sign up Now
So what's the delay? Remember that the people who sign up first will be remembered the longest, though maybe that's not a good thing. Anyhow, enjoy.
