Sunday, May 04, 2008

BYBS: Experience with Finals

Being the outstanding student that I am not, one of the things that featured largely in my thought was the notion of final exams. To be more precise the fear of final exams.

I was never sure what other people's excuses were regarding studying, but I seemed to have a neurotic tendency to avoid doing it. I really don't understand why: was it fear of failure? Laziness? The only thing I know for sure is that I would not do the work and instead lived in a state of permanent fear regarding the tests.

The tests themselves were usually an exercise in pain. Each would consist of an hour or two that demonstrated my lack of knowledge and laziness. Once complete, the dread of having to take one was replaced by the dread of what sort of grade I had gotten. Usually, by some miracle, I managed to do OK, which meant that I would graduate onto the next layer of pain.

Now I face yet another final. Unlike the previous ones, I have no fear of it. Before I needed to prepare for the exam; this time there is no preparation required. It used to be that you actually had to arrive at the place of torture to perform the test. With this one, the test comes to you. Previous tests required a clear state of mind to be successful; this test has no such requirement.

The only strange thing about this test is that, unlike previous exams, the people around me are terrified whereas I am almost looking forward to it.

One of the benefits of having gone through a lot of tests I suppose.

5 comments:

Sue said...

It has been a very long time since I have personally had to go through exams, but yeah they are anxiety ridden exercises aren't they. My middle daughter just completed a set of exams and the outcomes really can effect the course of your future.

This one you are speaking of sounds so much better. :)

Happy BYB Sunday!

SandyCarlson said...

I used to dread exams. For that reason, I alway found ways to do independent studies. Good teachers make clear what is important; I had many a dud in my time. Good luck with this one, which sounds human!

CyberCelt said...

I wish you all the luck with the outcome of this "test." Angels all around you.

stev said...

*chuckles*

well now the tides are in your favor ;)

good luck & ace 'em!

storyteller said...

Thanks for visiting my BYBS post last week. I can’t believe it’s Sunday again and have no idea what I’ll be posting about today, but I’m relieved to find your ‘last week’ BYBS post here. It somehow relaxes me this morning ;--)

I hated tests as well ... though I studied for them like a maniac and worried throughout that no matter what I did, it wouldn't be 'enough' ...

The amazing thing about just 'showing up' without having to 'prepare' (or avoid preparation) is that (since the point of power is always in the present moment) ... all you need to do is BE present to respond. Methinks I'd prefer tests of this type and feel similarly excited. Best wishes as you move through the coming experience. I hope you'll share after.
Hugs and blessings,