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Being the outstanding student that I am not, one of the things that featured largely in my thought was the notion of final exams. To be more precise the fear of final exams.
I was never sure what other people's excuses were regarding studying, but I seemed to have a neurotic tendency to avoid doing it. I really don't understand why: was it fear of failure? Laziness? The only thing I know for sure is that I would not do the work and instead lived in a state of permanent fear regarding the tests.
The tests themselves were usually an exercise in pain. Each would consist of an hour or two that demonstrated my lack of knowledge and laziness. Once complete, the dread of having to take one was replaced by the dread of what sort of grade I had gotten. Usually, by some miracle, I managed to do OK, which meant that I would graduate onto the next layer of pain.
Now I face yet another final. Unlike the previous ones, I have no fear of it. Before I needed to prepare for the exam; this time there is no preparation required. It used to be that you actually had to arrive at the place of torture to perform the test. With this one, the test comes to you. Previous tests required a clear state of mind to be successful; this test has no such requirement.
The only strange thing about this test is that, unlike previous exams, the people around me are terrified whereas I am almost looking forward to it.
One of the benefits of having gone through a lot of tests I suppose.
