CSPAN

I knew something was weird when I saw the same girl twice. Normally this sort of thing is barely worthy of note, what with my incredible sexual appeal. If I didn’t wear dark glasses and trench coats I’d be constantly mobbed by 16 year old cheerleader squads. There are some, like The Critic who doubt this and just point out “Yeah right!” but I digress.

She was the same girl I had seen at the EverQuest booth at one of those video gaming conferences earlier in the year and now here she was at a beer festival. Coincidence? I think not.

She had the same bottle blonde hair. The same ridiculously thin body with the disproportionately huge boobs. The same vacant, disinterested look. And at appropriate moments, she would sport the same utterly fake smile. And she was chewing the same gum with the same bored motions making her look like a cow that had wandered by.

When most people see this sort of thing, they might think “Hey, both these conventions hire the same entertainers for their shows,” or perhaps “Hmmmm, maybe I can get her phone number.” A reasonable deduction, but not the brave, new-thinking, out-of-the-box style epiphany that my friends tell me only I am capable of.

You see, I believe this shows that all conventions are linked together into a sort of alternate dimension. I call this collective the C-SPAN.

I know there are some doubters amongst you so consider this additional evidence:

• All conventions have loud, annoying people.
• All conventions have people giving away small, useless pieces of junk.
• All conventions have posters.
• And then, of course, there are the weird, beautiful women.

There is one final, clinching piece of evidence that I lack. I am going to go to a very special convention. If I see the same people, hear the same “wooohoooo!” cheers, and am offered the same crap, then I will know that I’m right. Or rather, I will be able to prove that I am right to doubters like The Critic. I already know I’m right – there is no way that this one girl can be at all these conventions…

…unless you believe in androids or something. But I’ll leave that to another posting.

Technorati: Alternate dimesions, CSPAN, androids, alien women