Fan Service

I want to thank Alex at "Non Compos Mentis" for putting a link to this site. I also want apologize for not quite understanding what he asked for in his initial request. But as the saying goes: "Better Nate than lever!" No, that's not how the saying goes, but at least it's better than "semper ubi sub ubi." At any rate, for those of you who, like me, barely managed a passing grade in their Latin classes, the phrase non compos mentis means "not having a sound mind; not sane." It is frequently used in criminal proceedings where a lawyer will say something like:

(Lawyer): As is evident from my client's web site, he was clearly non compos mentis at the time he solicited photos from Mr. Whatever. (Me): I told him it was no trouble; I just wanted the creepy emails to stop. (Alex): (breathing heavily) oh yea! (Lawyer): Objection! It has not been established that my client originated those emails! (Judge): Sustained! (M): But he just said that his client asked me for pictures! (J): Hmmm...good point. Overruled! Mr…what's your name again? (M): Whatever. (J): Don't show contempt for the court! (M): My name is "Whatever." Besides, what about him? (Points at A, who is now fondling certain body parts and drooling). (J): Another good point... (L): Objection! (J): Oh shut up. (A): Oh yeah!

Now I want to make it clear that I am not trying to imply that whatever agency is behind NCM is responsible for the recent spate of strange emails that I have been receiving. I'm just saying that some one or some thing has been sending me emails that contain heavy breathing or pictures of certain…fluids. Furthermore these emails are a) disquieting and b) quickly filling up my account.

Said emails have been cajoling me for shots of a more personal nature of dwarves so I figured that the fastest way to get whoever is behind this off my back was to simply placate them. Also I look kinda cute if I do say so myself.

And Alex does mention "…pictures of Dwarf body parts…" in his latest post. But I'm sure it's just a coincidence…

Tags: dwarves, non compos mentis, lawyers, heavy breathing