Nigerian Scam Spam, Draft #3

Last draft for the NSS.  This one weighs in at around 200 words.

Subject: Please take a moment to save a soul

I am writing to you today on behalf of some people who made a few mistakes.  While one mistake certainly deserves consequences, nothing is worth an eternity of suffering, but that's what they are looking at.  But you can give some of them a second chance.

As you have no doubt guessed, this is Lucifer, God's fallen angel writing to you.  I recruited these people in my struggle with God only to realize that my rebellion is doomed to failure.  While I deserve any punishment that God decides on, I think that my followers should get another chance.

That's where you come in.

I can transfer ownership of these souls to mortals, who can then judge the soul and free those that are worthy.  I have to trust that you will be honorable in this regard, but I think that a second chance is better than what they have with me: no chance at all.

In order to transfer control over to you, please send an email with the words "I hereby deliver my soul unto thee" in the subject line.  The address is prince_of_darkness@668.com.  Yeah, I know, some stupid DNS squatter got there before I did.

Please help these people,

Lucifer
Angel Most Fallen

Nigerian Scam Spam, draft #2

This is draft #2 of my Nigerian Scan Spam contest entry hosted by the Drabblecast.  In this draft I'm trying to get the word count down to below 300


Subject: take a moment and save a soul

Please remember that I'm asking you to help a few damned souls - I am not asking you to help me or in any way endorse me, my cause or what I stand for.

Sorry for that but I feel I should be up front with you: this is the Devil, the Prince of Darkness, Lucifer etc.  Whatever you think of me, you're probably right, but the people I've duped into following me don't all deserve eternal torment.

That's what I'm writing to you about: the legions of the damned - some of them can be saved.


I've been recruiting people to my cause since the dawn of man because I thought I had a chance against God.  I don't.  Now all my followers will pay for this mistake.  When I lose the Apocalypse, all of them, both good and bad, repentant and defiant alike, will be damned to eternal torment.  But if I'm going to lose no matter what, then I think they deserve another chance.
That's where you come in.

You see, I can transfer ownership of some of these souls to a mortal, who can then free them.  I can't force you to follow through when you take ownership, but that's part of the idea: you will judge the ones that should be freed and the ones that should stay damned.

In order to make this work, I just need you to send an email with "I hereby deliver my soul unto thee" in the subject line to prince_of_darkness@668.com.  Yeah, I know, some damn Asian domain squatter got to 666.com before I did.


Please help these people.  You're their only hope.


Sincerely,


Lucifer
Angel most fallen

Nigerian Scam Spam Entry

This is the first draft of my humble entry into the Drabblecast's infamous annual Nigerian Scan Spam contest for 2010.  The idea is to create a typical "scam" email along the lines of the ones that proport to be from some general or other high official in a country torn by political strife.  The message is supposed to try and get money or whatnot from the victim by asking for a bank account number or credit card number.  I thought this would be an interesting twist on the concept...

Subject: please help someone else!

Please remember that I'm asking you to help a few damned souls - I am not asking you to help me or in any way endorse me, my cause or what I stand for.

Sorry for that but I feel I should be up front with you: this is the Devil, the Prince of Darkness, Lucifer etc.  Whatever you think of me, you're probably right, but the people I've duped into following me don't all deserve eternal torment.

That's what I'm writing to you about: the legions of the damned - some of them can be saved.

You see, all along I thought I stood a chance against God, but recently I have come to realize that I have no chance.  I never had a chance and I never will be able to overcome the almighty.  No matter how many damned souls I have in my legion.

Once I realized that, I discovered, much to my dismay, that I actually felt bad for some of the poor fools who have signed over their souls to me in my quest to unseat the Alpha and the Omega.  I went from merely feeling bad to trying to come up with a solution.  The thing is, if I go off to war and lose, all my followers are damned for all eternity - but why do that when I know that I'm going to lose?


That's where you come in.


You see, I can transfer ownership of some of these souls to a mortal, who can then free them.  I will have to trust you to free them by the way, but I figure they are better off with any chance than no chance.  At any rate, once you have possession of these souls, choose the ones that you deem worthy and free them.  Or free all of them.  The choice is yours.


In order to make this work, I just need you to send an email with "I hereby deliver my soul unto thee" in the subject line to prince_of_darkness@668.com.  Yeah, I know, some damn Asian domain squatter got to 666.com before I did.


Please help these people.  You're their only hope.


Sincerely,


Lucifer
Angel most fallen