Sunday, April 01, 2007

BYBS: Tinfoil Hats!

Image shamelessly lifted from http://www.buffalobeast.com/96/litterbox.lunacy.htm Hopefully, the approve of the use I have put it to.

I thought that a more somber article was in order for this weekend, so here is my treatise on ways to improve your thought processes. I know it's a little late, but THEY tried to stop the public from being notified. Remember…THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE!

Some years ago I had strange ideas that people were trying to control my thoughts and actions. Then I stumbled upon a solution to this using only household materials; principally tinfoil!

At first I was suspicious. Wouldn't those you told others about what was going on put themselves in immediate risk? How did I know that these "deflector beanies" really worked? I started reading testimonials like this one:

A picture recently taken of the leader the gnomish mind-control plot know as GMCP. This is NOT just a cheap image cap from World of Warcraft! Really...mostly...

Fools! Your Aluminum hats are no matching for the raw mind-bending power that we gnomes wield! Soon all your people will bow before us!

And this:

Once again, I am hoping that the folks at http://www.zapatopi.net/afdb/ understand that MiB is playing for keeps: we need to unite!

I was sold.

By making a hat out of this marvelous material I was able to radically reduce the number of strange thoughts that I was being bombarded with every day. Soon, with my clear, mind control free powers of cogitation, I began to unravel the truths behind these nefarious plots, but the most terrifying revelation was yet to come.

Whilst wasting time on one of my favorite activities, I discovered the real, terrifying truth:

Here's to the heroic people at worldofwarcraft.com who have tried to liberate those who are caught in the web of evil mind control rays!

Blizzard, the company that has been for the last few days at least, dedicated towards freeing people from the throes of the alien mind control rays has allowed characters the World of Warcraft to product their characters form this effect. While wearing a hat, your character is completely immune to mind-control effects. These folks are really going out on a limb and deserve every bit of support that can be mustered.

But, why, you make ask, if we have these tin-foil protector beanies, what more needs to be done? Aren't we protected now? Wont the world-wide conspiracy be realized for that it truly is?

Recent, disturbing evidence suggests that this may not be the case. For example, you may recognize the squirrel from the previous testimonial:

I don't know where I got this one, it could have been slipped under my door after I tapped a big "X" on my window or something. The point is we need to take this implied threat the same way we'd take an implied invitation to lunch or dinner...or maybe not.
The forces behind the mind control rays will not easily yield control back to the people this great country! Fortunately, there is an easy way to tell the difference between the thralls and the enlightened: the presence of a tin foil beanie deflector! Those who wear them we can trust, those who do not cannot be trusted! Also, if they're 6 inches tall like these guys, it might also be a hint.

Good luck, and avoid gnomes!!!

P.S. Yes another April 1st has passed us by and, with another year behind me, I have the strength within myself to not act as childish and silly as I would have acted last year. All I can say is that last year would have been really bad.

4 comments:

Blue Panther said...

Interesting post! Very Intelligent and knowledgeable!


Hapy Aprils Fool's day! he he h...

Hopeful Spirit said...

Very humorous in keeping with the spirit of the day!

msdemmie said...

Happy BYB Sunday ..................nice one!

stev said...

LOL

tinfoils FTW!!

know to go make/buy/steal one ^^